Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
