he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
