My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
