the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
