bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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