He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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