I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Randomize
