I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
