I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
