there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
