I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
