1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
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They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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