And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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