Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
