We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
