yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
NoShamevember. You game?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
So vagazzling was a success
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
