I think I am morally bankrupt
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize