she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He shit in the fireplace
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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