Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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