I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
