he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
