Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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