was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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