I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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