So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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