i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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