i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
