doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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