If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
