forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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