Texts From Last Night

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4

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  (973): ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4 http://tfl.nu/vujr
  Replies (8) Good night (1388) Bad night (788)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye

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  (301): guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye http://tfl.nu/qvf8
  Replies (34) Good night (643) Bad night (4291)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.

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  (410): She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY. http://tfl.nu/v8u7
  Replies (85) Good night (1340) Bad night (12790)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro

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  (215): You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro http://tfl.nu/bhdm
  Replies (19) Good night (15644) Bad night (2170)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.

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  (240): I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop. http://tfl.nu/iw16
  Replies (20) Good night (3810) Bad night (1579)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  It's never too late to be topless.

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  (614): It's never too late to be topless. http://tfl.nu/ybgn
  Replies (11) Good night (3100) Bad night (1020)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment

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  (206): we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment http://tfl.nu/gn32
  Replies (3) Good night (2193) Bad night (809)
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  (212): View more from New York

  Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?

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  (212): Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes? http://tfl.nu/3emh
  Replies (4) Good night (1344) Bad night (632)
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  (951): View more from California

  You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.

  (1-951): View more from California

  This is the first time I'm hearing this information.

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  (951): You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you. (1-951): This is the first time I'm hearing this information. http://tfl.nu/wdlz
  Replies (20) Good night (3890) Bad night (770)
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  (562): View more from California

  Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?

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  (562): Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment? http://tfl.nu/8kce
  Replies (2) Good night (1029) Bad night (515)
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  (457): View more from

  Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though

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  (457): Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though http://tfl.nu/vzyv
  Replies (8) Good night (1368) Bad night (605)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of

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  (306): my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of http://tfl.nu/jepn
  Replies (4) Good night (750) Bad night (363)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered

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  (336): I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered http://tfl.nu/tx8s
  Replies (4) Good night (974) Bad night (380)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.

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  (816): Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol. http://tfl.nu/a402
  Replies (2) Good night (486) Bad night (203)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.

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  (847): My fridge door just caught on fire somehow. http://tfl.nu/ond1
  Replies (2) Good night (266) Bad night (420)

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