Texts From Last Night

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  (815): View more from Illinois

  What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?

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  (815): What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"? http://tfl.nu/6zhr
  Replies (34) Good night (2399) Bad night (3168)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.

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  (419): Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name. http://tfl.nu/pkap
  Replies (6) Good night (3762) Bad night (703)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.

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  (630): He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors. http://tfl.nu/ipmp
  Replies (36) Good night (2740) Bad night (5756)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.

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  (425): Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight. http://tfl.nu/mywq
  Replies (14) Good night (5781) Bad night (1103)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....

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  (256): Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea.... http://tfl.nu/8lgf
  Replies (7) Good night (2925) Bad night (1255)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.

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  (309): don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia. http://tfl.nu/2ibq
  Replies (6) Good night (2000) Bad night (1078)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why

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  (514): He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why http://tfl.nu/b6q6
  Replies (11) Good night (1095) Bad night (2783)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.

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  (407): the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much. http://tfl.nu/a71i
  Replies (1) Good night (532) Bad night (1263)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.

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  (440): I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me. http://tfl.nu/i18g
  Replies (8) Good night (452) Bad night (1040)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us

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  (954): stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us http://tfl.nu/1h6z
  Replies (3) Good night (2060) Bad night (643)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it

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  (570): God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it http://tfl.nu/m1zz
  Replies (2) Good night (476) Bad night (330)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for

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  (847): I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for http://tfl.nu/6wjj
  Replies (2) Good night (544) Bad night (750)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?

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  (440): Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth? http://tfl.nu/sdk1
  Replies (2) Good night (332) Bad night (687)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting

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  (301): A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting http://tfl.nu/sgre
  Replies (0) Good night (411) Bad night (253)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.

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  (954): I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day. http://tfl.nu/q9q6
  Replies (7) Good night (1218) Bad night (258)

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