Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.

(1-508): View more from Massachusetts

Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?

(508): View more from Massachusetts

Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome

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(508): So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again. (1-508): Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years? (508): Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome http://tfl.nu/sfo6

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(303): View more from Colorado

dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds

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(303): dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds http://tfl.nu/9fcs

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(907): View more from Alaska

She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex

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(907): She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex http://tfl.nu/o751

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard

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(603): You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard http://tfl.nu/mdqr

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(817): View more from Texas

he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...

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(817): he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet... http://tfl.nu/na2h

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.

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(781): She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal. http://tfl.nu/dcp1

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(440): View more from Ohio

My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.

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(440): My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made. http://tfl.nu/g5vb

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face

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(973): Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face http://tfl.nu/mow6

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(503): View more from Oregon

I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...

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(503): I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot... http://tfl.nu/6eyj

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.

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(860): Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta. http://tfl.nu/gtno

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.

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(336): I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead. http://tfl.nu/ixs0

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(760): View more from California

I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.

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(760): I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day. http://tfl.nu/8ipd

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(307): View more from Wyoming

We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.

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(307): We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning. http://tfl.nu/xr9v

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...

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(603): So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment... http://tfl.nu/nl0n

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(571): View more from Virginia

Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter

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(571): Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter http://tfl.nu/fvpm

Replies (2) Good night (849) Bad night (284)

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