i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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