how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
