Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
