I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
