3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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