K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I am one with the molecules
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
