what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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