Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
