I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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