You made me cry and you don't even care
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
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I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
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Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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