so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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