shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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