Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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