He told me they were just razor bumps!
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
