it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
