we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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