Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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