Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
