Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
