Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
