hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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