i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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