Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
How does it feel to date your dad?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
