so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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