so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
