I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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